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And so we will wait some more

I was all prepared for my next post to be one of celebration and thanksgiving for a wonderful weekend celebrating little Abby. My facebook status from yesterday was: "To say I am blessed is an understatement." This is still true. But today I am struggling.

Our embassy date has been postponed. We will not be traveling in December or bringing Abby home on Christmas. As it stands, our new tentative embassy date is January 6th. Meaning, if this date stands, we will be home around January 8th.

I know. it's only two weeks. But we are crushed and disappointed. We will spend this Christmas without one of our children.

Part of me wants to punch a wall or throw something. Another part of me wants to yell and scream and blame someone for our delay. Yet another part of me wants to crawl into bed and stay there for a couple days. I am a cluster of mixed emotions, and I'm fully aware that none of the above would be very productive or helpful.

So I've decided to choose other ways of dealing with it. I will be honest about my disappointment, and I may need some of you to hug me through some tears. My family will enjoy our Christmastime together now, but we will ache as we long for Abby's presence. I will find reasons to rejoice, like the fact that we were nanoseconds from purchasing tickets we wouldn't be able to use. I will continue to look forward with expectation, knowing that God has given me a hope that does not disappoint.

And I will cling to the greatest truth of theology I know: that my God is sovereign, and that nothing, NOTHING happens outside of His directive will for my life, for Abby's life, and for the lives of all of my family. He has decreed each step of our adoption process, and He is worthy of my trust and praise no matter what He gives or takes away.

Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob,
whose hope is in the Lord his God. Psalm 146:5

Still blessed.


Shelly Roberts said...

Sooooo sorry to hear of this setback. :( Praying for you guys as you continue to persevere and cling to your Father while you wait to bring that precious one HOME ... FOREVER! ;) Blessings, Shelly

Erica said...

My heart is broken for you and your family. My head knows the sovereignty of our mighty King. You will not walk this alone, we're all in this together. Love you.

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. - Romans 12:15

Our Family said...

So sorry to hear this, and yet I am leaning that God's story and timing are so much better than what we can come up with. Sounds like he might want you to have an Ethiopian Christmas this year! :o)

Connie said...

{{{{{{{big hug}}}}}}

Jessica Smith said...

Oh heart feels your ache...I am praying for you and your family and of course sweet little Princess Abby.

I love how you point to the sovereignty of God because truly there are things on this side of heaven that we don't understand, that frustrate us, that bring us to our knees in desperation...but knowing that nothing happens that surprises God and that He is always faithful...He is always sovereign and that He promises to work all things for good- gives us the peace that surpasses circumstance, natural knowledge and understanding.

Did you know that Ethiopian Christians celebrate Christmas, "Ganna" on January 7th? I am guessing that this new date will bring greater significance than you realize and that God has an amazing plan that will replace every tear you shed in the coming days with joy overflowing!

I am standing in the gap and you know that many of us will hold your family's arms up- so that when you feel tired we will help uphold you!

I am also willing to drive up to deliver a BIG HUG to you sweet sister!!!

Anonymous said...

I am soo sad for you guys. But don't worry God doesn't give you anything you can't handle. I'll be praying for you guys! I hope you can still enjoy your Christmas!


To God be the Glory! said...

I know that you know all the truths, and yet heart pain. Being away from one of those you love with an expectancy to be with them soon, only to be gravely disappointed with a delay. So very painful.

Jesus understands - boy does He understand for much as you ache for your child, Abby, He aches over the distance of His children, His arms stretched out wide to receive them, only to mourn when they do not draw near to Him.

I am so very sorry for this delay, and yet so very grateful for your sharing your heart in this post. You wait in faith and trust in sovereign God. You wait well my friends. You minister to many others who "wait"....waiting during a season that magnifies everything. Thank you for pointing always to Jesus.

WhitneyandScott said...

My heart aches for the disappointment you are going through. So sorry, friend. praying.

Jennifer said...

So sorry to hear about the delay! Waiting is SO hard...I just read something another friend blogged about today. She lost a daughter to cancer and she wrote that she can be disappointed as long as she continues to trust God. That she can not like the circumstances, as long as she continues to trust God. We will be praying for you and your family and Abby this Christmas season. May you feel God's peace at all times.
Merry Christmas!!!

G said...

Oh, I am so sorry.... Praying for you now as you walk through this time of waiting.

Alison said...

I am so sorry! I know your arms are aching to hold her again. Will be praying for ya'll during this tough waiting time!

Lizzy said...

praying for you, friend...for peace to still your soul and for joy that passes all understanding...He has a good plan in the midst of this situation. love you!

Angela Hunt said...

Rachel, I'll be praying for Abby and for you guys as you anxiously wait for each other. What an exciting day that will be!