The wait (officially) begins

It is official...as of today, we are a waiting family. On the waiting list. Somewhat surreal.

I have an update I'll post next week, on what the next steps are, where we are with our fundraising, etc, etc... But let's pause before we hurry there.

I am in Minneapolis at a business convention this weekend, with not alot of spare time, so I won't go on and on tonight.

But in a moment of transparency, I will give you a glimpse of my jumbled reaction/thoughts/feelings...

It has been a long year. I can't believe it took this long. I can't believe it went so fast.

Right now, I think I'm just existing in that place right on the verge of tears.

I'm surrounded by people, most of whom are only casually (if at all) interested in my adoption, and I feel like I want to burst with the big news I'm carrying. (Thank God for Facebook, the means by which community follows you wherever you go!)

God has given me one special friend here, who was with me when I found out, who gets how big of a deal this is to me, who's eyes filled with tears when she heard my news, and even more so when knew she was officially the first to hear it.

My husband is back home celebrating with my girls and googling potential names. My boys are with friends and don't even know yet.

I think, when I finally see Joe, I might just break down.

It's joy. It's relief. It's fatigue. It's hope.

For a year, it's been a paper chase. I've known a child waits at the end of it, but most days, I've been lost in cloud of notaries and background checks and references and authentications. Paper.

But today, I feel the tangible love and longing for my child. I hear a heartbeat. I feel a kick. I feel a life, growing. And I sense our meeting is just around the corner.
Hang on, Baby. Mommy and Daddy love you. We will not leave you as an orphan...we are coming for you.

14 comments:

Erica said...

So that was a great big ole cry. We are SO excited for you all. Can't wait to see who God has hand picked to be a Walser.

We Shubins love you baby Walser! Hurry home, Silas needs a buddy.

abigail said...

Awesome! Excited for you and your family.

your sister and fellow warrior :)
abby

Christy said...

yaaaaaaaaaay! Congrats and praise the Lord! :)

Rebecca said...

I so get how you are feeling. We have just started the wait as well. Number 57 on our agencies wait list!

Congrats! The adoption community "gets it"!!!

Anonymous said...

Love you and so blessed!

3childrenbyfaith said...

Congratulations! Cant wait to see pictures of a beautiful baby on here!:)

Anonymous said...

You're amazing, Rachel. I feel privledged to have known you for about 28 years (can you believe it?) and have you in my world!! Stacy

*Given Much Mom* said...

I feel your joy!! Been there done that... times 5! :) Every time JUST as exciting as the one before. :`)

The B Family said...

One step closer! Excited to be following your journey and looking forward to meeting you!

Lara said...

That's so awesome! I'm in the trenches of dossier and homestudy paperwork right now, so I know what a big accomplishment that is!

Meyerdrk said...

Oh Rachel...I so hear you! and rejoice with you! We continue to pray for the next Walser, even now being watched over and cared for by our Heavenly Father, and soon to be enveloped in your arms of love that will represent Him in a real flesh and blood way! love you

Anonymous said...

Only a week till I get to put my arms around you and tell you how much I love you and yours...the onstage Walsers and the little one waiting in the wings!

tracy hanson said...

So Happy you are waiting for your Love to come Home!!!

love said...

oh, praise the Lord!!! so happy for you. you're right...it is a long, painful labor. it is so, so sweet when you can start to feel those "kicks" though! SO happy for you. God is preparing your baby for you right now!!