The wait (officially) begins

It is official...as of today, we are a waiting family. On the waiting list. Somewhat surreal.

I have an update I'll post next week, on what the next steps are, where we are with our fundraising, etc, etc... But let's pause before we hurry there.

I am in Minneapolis at a business convention this weekend, with not alot of spare time, so I won't go on and on tonight.

But in a moment of transparency, I will give you a glimpse of my jumbled reaction/thoughts/feelings...

It has been a long year. I can't believe it took this long. I can't believe it went so fast.

Right now, I think I'm just existing in that place right on the verge of tears.

I'm surrounded by people, most of whom are only casually (if at all) interested in my adoption, and I feel like I want to burst with the big news I'm carrying. (Thank God for Facebook, the means by which community follows you wherever you go!)

God has given me one special friend here, who was with me when I found out, who gets how big of a deal this is to me, who's eyes filled with tears when she heard my news, and even more so when knew she was officially the first to hear it.

My husband is back home celebrating with my girls and googling potential names. My boys are with friends and don't even know yet.

I think, when I finally see Joe, I might just break down.

It's joy. It's relief. It's fatigue. It's hope.

For a year, it's been a paper chase. I've known a child waits at the end of it, but most days, I've been lost in cloud of notaries and background checks and references and authentications. Paper.

But today, I feel the tangible love and longing for my child. I hear a heartbeat. I feel a kick. I feel a life, growing. And I sense our meeting is just around the corner.

Hang on, Baby. Mommy and Daddy love you. We will not leave you as an orphan...we are coming for you.